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Life Balance. Can You Afford It?

2/25/2013

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My wife sent me a Feb. 9 NY Times article, Relax! You’ll Be More Productive, by Tony Schwartz. She thought it would be good for a LifeNut to read. I agreed.
         
     The well-meaning author points to current research that demonstrates the
health benefits of taking power naps, getting more sleep, daily exercise, and
frequent vacations. Nothing new there. More than 30 percent of workers eat at
their desks – to produce more. They also take work on their vacations. Most put in long hours at the office that reduces time for personal activities. End
result: too little sleep. A recent Harvard study shows that sleep deprivation costs American industry over $63 billion in lower productivity. Getting less than six hours of sleep each night incurs risk of job burn out. Tired workers make mistakes.
            
     Yes, the average American wants to succeed. He or she wants to live the good life depicted on television and in the movies. Lifestyles of the rich and famous appeal to those who aren’t rich or famous. Just hungry for this “good life.”

    This reminded me of the many financial experts who are daily guests on Squawk Box, the early morning business show on CNBC. These are the cream of the financial crop – CEOs, hedge fund managers, wealthy politicians, millionaires and billionaires. I find it ironic that 80% of them are either overweight or obese, apparently opting for pills to fix their medical condition (easier) rather than changing their lifestyle (harder). These men (mostly) and women could well afford to join a health club, hire a personal trainer, and buy the healthiest foods. Instead they turn themselves into health time bombs, probably victims of a busy, busy life, one that needs to produce every second of the day. Make deals. Make decisions. Analyze. Buy. Sell. It’s like a whirling carousel that won’t stop. You can’t get off … or can you?

    On the other extreme is the person who is on the lowest rung of the economic ladder. These folks work for minimum wage or ten bucks an hour. They often hold down two or more jobs to support themselves. They spoke out loudly in the comments at the end of the article, offering a good dose of reality for the author. 

    One lady, a senior citizen, complained about not being able to afford medical coverage. Another was unhappy about the fact that she had to work harder and more efficiently – for $12 an hour – or be fired. And, if she were fired, maybe she wouldn’t find another $12-an-hour job. The next person made a good point: “Most Americans are too materialistic to choose a saner way of life that would keep them healthier and happier.” But the problem remains: we all want the American dream.

    We need two incomes now, not just one – as in the 50s and 60s. More is better and greed is good, as in
Wall Street. One person commented that business owners and CEOs should realize that workers become productive when they are happy and awake. Google seems to get this. A lot of companies don’t, making long hours an expected reality. 
 
    Modern electronics make contact with employees easy. What happens if you don’t reply to a text from your boss after hours or on a weekend? Nothing good. With jobs being scarce in this recession, fear is rampant, making workers comply with requests to return emails at ten o’clock at night.

    When I worked in my dental practice, I was on call 24/7, although it was rare that a patient would call me in the evening or on a weekend. Still, I was more than willing to make an after-hours trip to the office for a patient in distress. And, as a boss, I rarely called any employee after hours. Nor did they call me. So, in my situation, I had more control over my time and a better chance to develop balance than, say, someone expected to put in 60+ hours a week for a company. Unfortunately, the movie Horrible Bosses may not be all that farfetched.

    However, the bottom line is that each of us is responsible for our own health. Countless websites offer valuable stress management methods, many of which, get this, are free. Become a master of stress management and join the LifeNuts club. Turn lemons into lemonade. Find a job you love, excel at it, and control your own destiny. And, in the process, which may take years or even a lifetime, create balance, being careful to get enough sleep, exercise daily, meditate or deeply relax – if only for a few minutes, and eat foods that don’t contribute to disease. When you take responsibility for you, you’ll become more effective – both on the job and at home, less prone to illness, and, in the end, much happier. Good luck!


 

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Running a Marathon With My Son 

2/18/2013

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This won’t be a long blog today. It won’t be advising what to do or what not to do. Just some personal comments on life and on relationships. To the younger generation I’m an old man but, on the other hand, I feel young when I hang out with 90-year-olds. And I feel young when my marathon times are faster than those in the field, most of whom are much younger than I am. Age is so
relative.

    At 66, I’ve been around the block a few times; made my share of mistakes; done some things right and some things wrong. I’m closer to the finish than the starting line, if you catch my drift.

    But, of all my successes and failures in life, I am most proud of my five children. I’d like to say that I’m close to each one, but that might make my nose grow. Still, when I get the chance, I savor time spent with them. Harry Chapin documented this in his song
Cat's in the Cradle, a ballad about how a father is too busy to spend time with his young son. Yet he soon finds that, when his son has grown up, he is too busy to spend time with his father. What goes around … Time passes quickly. Trust me - it does.

    So this past weekend was a treasure for me – to spend three days with my 30-something son in a trip to Birmingham, Alabama, to run the Mercedes marathon together. Married less than a year, he can still be considered a newlywed. So I was surprised that he wanted to spend this weekend with his dad. His understanding wife is a welcome addition to our family.

    He wanted to stop at the Abbey of Gethsemani in rural Kentucky on the way, which we did, unfortunately missing the monks who were at lunch. I’ve visited many times but it was my son’s first stop here. Inspiring.

    Since he was under the gun at work, he was rightfully concerned with stress, which we discussed at length on the long drive to Birmingham from Cincinnati. Looking back on all the studying I did and all the seminar presentations I made during the 80s and 90s, I realized how much stress management helped me in my own life. In those days I never guessed that someday this knowledge would allow me to help my adult son.

    We discussed several aspects of stress management and methods to deal with it, which are presented elsewhere on this website and in the LifeNuts book as well. One technique I explained was to write down the three most stressful episodes at the end of the day. Then write down how each could have been worse and three ways each could have been better. Also discussed deep
relaxation methods and hypnosis, which are skills that can be valuable in stressful situations.

    I’ve found that many young people disregard the advice of older adults, from whom they could learn significantly. But, luckily for him, my son listens. And if he applies this knowledge and becomes skilled in stress management, he will lead a much happier life than if he doesn’t.

    Running the marathon was also memorable. Despite chilly starting temperatures, we had fun and finished the 26-mile race, still alive and well enough to make the seven-plus hour drive back home. Whether it’s running a marathon, playing a weekend of golf, or hiking in the mountains, spending time with one’s adult children is time well spent. Remember: time passes quickly and wait


 
 

             
 


             
 


 

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Arthritis and Diet

2/11/2013

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Our poster child, 91-year-old Mike Fremont, wrote a blog for us a few weeks ago. When Mike mentioned that he had suffered from arthritis prior to his switch away from animal products (precipitated by his cancer) and that, after adopting a plant-based diet, his arthritis disappeared, I became intrigued. He told me that for about a year (he was 69 at the time) he had pain when turning his neck and that he began to have pain in moving his fingers, both symptoms of the initial stages of arthritis, a condition that affects about 50% of Americans over age 65. He had been a runner for over 30 years; had good stress management skills; and was fit. But still he had pain on moving his neck and fingers.
        
     When his cancer struck him the next year, he changed his diet, avoiding meat and dairy products. Besides beating the cancer, he noticed that the arthritis disappeared. So I wondered if his dietary change was merely anecdotal or if others had similar results. 
 
    In doing research on the connection between diet and arthritis, I found a fascinating blog by John McDougall, a physician-researcher, who presented many cases and studies demonstrating that a diet free of meat and dairy helped to eliminate arthritis, even the dreaded rheumatoid arthritis. If you know of anyone suffering from arthritis, please direct them to Dr. McDougall’s blog:
http://drmcdougall.com/med_hot_arthritis_diet.html

    The first paragraph is startling: A dentist writes, "In April of 1994 I met you briefly at the Michigan Dental Association Annual Meeting in Grand Rapids.  During this seminar, I asked you about my 4-year-old son having juvenile rheumatoid arthritis.  Bryan was on 35 mg of prednisone (a powerful steroid) and 1200 mg of Advil daily.  He was in so much pain he screamed and cried day and night.  In one year he lost weight and did not grow one inch. … The suggestions you gave me that day lead me to remove all animal products from his diet, as well as refined carbohydrates. Within six months, we had Bryan off all his medication.  He was free of pain, gaining weight and growing again.  His last blood work was superb with a sed rate of 1 - can you believe it!" 

    Dr. McDougall’s blog is lengthy but well worth reading. He explains how and why dairy and meat can aggravate and worsen arthritis. He offers a dietary plan for arthritis sufferers and presents another interesting case at the end of the blog: a journalist who was forced to retire because of spinal stenosis and degenerative arthritis. By now you can guess what happened.

    A 2009 New York Times article reported a study of 800 arthritic patients showed that patients on a plant-based diet (limiting red meat) had more improvement than patients eating a typical American diet. Interesting that the study did not include a diet completely free of meat and dairy.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/25/health/25real.html?ref=health&_r=0

    WebMD, a popular medical site, verifies that there are no studies to show dietary benefits to arthritis sufferers who use a variety of foods. Most supplements are also unsupported. But in a double-blind study, glucosamine sulphate was as effective in relieving symptoms in patients with knee OA as ibuprofen and had fewer side effects. The site presents numerous diets and supplements but recommends a well-balanced diet and maintaining a healthy body weight so that the joints don’t have to support excess weight.
http://www.webmd.com/rheumatoid-arthritis/features/arthritis-diets-supplements?page=2

    Personally I found the McDougall plan more interesting than others I researched. Everyone is different; varied genetic and immunological responses;
some handle stress better than others. LifeNuts are masters of stress management
and realize that chronic distress affects their bodies. They maintain a BMI in
the low 20s. They exercise wisely. And they eat mostly a plant-based
diet.


             
 



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LifeNuts and Relationships

2/4/2013

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No Man is an Island is a title of a poem by John Donne, an English writer, who wrote this well-liked verse around 1600. The first verse sums up an important part of life:

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.

    But, judging from the divorce rate in the US (50%) and in Sweden (55%), we have trouble in maintaining healthy relationships. And yet, as Donne points out, we are all connected with each other. Scientists know that those in the single life don’t live as long as those who are married. LifeNuts know this, too, and try to keep their relationships vibrant and happy, which is not always
easy. Here are a few hints at successful relationships both at home and in the workplace.
    Choose your battles wisely. A great little book
, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, uses its title to point out that most of the battles waged are indeed small stuff. So why wage them? Count to ten; figure if an argument is worth it (which is seldom the case); and then decide.
    Listen. Too many times we’re focused on what we want to say, rather than what is being said to
us. Extroverts especially have trouble with this. Yet, effective two-way communication is crucial both at work and at home. Listen well and pay attention to not only the words but the body language of the speaker.
    Forgiveness. Sometimes I think we are still a primitive species. If we are hurt, we often want to retaliate and strike back. The Middle East and Africa are good examples of this constant fighting. Yet, forgiveness is the first step in healing. It’s not always easy to forgive and it requires broad shoulders but its benefits are immense.
    Solve the problem. Rather than focusing on your own needs, step outside the box and look at
solutions. Pretend you’re a third party and offer unbiased ideas. Brainstorm and offer solutions that aren’t totally to your benefit.
    Be the first to tackle the problem. Often, if there is an argument, both sides go back to their
corners to huddle, neither side wanting to step back into the ring. It seems like a sign of weakness to be the first to apologize or to try to make up, but in fact it isn’t. Rather it’s a sign of strength and a good self-image. So don’t be afraid to be the first one.
    How bad is this anyway? I read books on the Holocaust continuously. When I finish one, I start
another. No, I am not obsessed with this dark period in WWII but instead I find that it helps me to put life events into perspective. Understanding what the millions of Holocaust prisoners suffered and knowing the pain, both physical and mental, that they endured daily helps me to realize that perhaps my own trials aren’t really that bad.
    Start each day on a positive note and decide that this day will be wonderful. If two can share this daily journey, dealing with setbacks becomes easier than dealing with them, alone. Remember, no man is an island.


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    Dr. Bob Kroeger is the founder of LifeNuts. He's also proud to be a LifeNut.

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