Psychological Stress Management
One of the most important ways that a LifeNut manages stress employs the mind. Yes, if you are in great physical shape and eat the right foods, your body will be prepared to deal with the chemicals of the stress response. But the sooner you solve Mr. Stressor’s problem, the sooner you’ll stop his chemical warfare on your insides.
At the center of our thought-making process lies our self-image, a vital part of us that influences nearly every decision we make. Do you like yourself? Do you love yourself? To love others, you must first love yourself, which some people find difficult. LifeNuts love themselves and are happy.
Dr. David Keirsey has written a series of books on this topic, the first one being Please Understand Me, which he published in 1978. In it Dr. Keirsey unveiled his temperament Sorter, a survey he makes available on his website, www.keirsey.com. It’s similar to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, first published in 1962, which, in turn, is based on the work that the famous psychologist Carl Jung did in the 1920s.
If you haven’t yet, I’d suggest taking this survey (It’s also available in his book) to learn about your personality. This understanding should help you to accept yourself and to realize that your personality is just fine the way it is. The premise behind Keirsey’s work is that every personality is OK and that knowing your personality and understanding your preferences can improve self-image and allow you to handle stress much better, the goal of every LifeNut.
The next part of self-image psychology involves playing games. Dr. Eric Berne’s book, Games People Play, describes the many psychological walls people build to protect their self image. There’s no need to go into these games here since LifeNuts don’t play them and hopefully you don’t either. But, not wanting to reveal what’s inside, many people do play such games. You know the type: Mr. Always Right, Ms. I-Have-Something-Better-than-You-Have, Mrs. Status Symbol, Mr. Joke-a-Minute. For goodness sake, just be yourself. You’re the real thing.
Self-confidence stems from a good self-image and prior success. If you’ve never spoken to a large group, you may not feel confident the first time you’re asked to give such a presentation. But the more speeches you deliver, the more your self-confidence grows. And, self-confidence helps us manage Mr. Stressor, which happens when we least expect him. I admire the work of Jack Canfield, Wayne Dyer, and Denis Waitley. There are countless other experts in this field, all promoting self-knowledge, healthy self-esteem, and self-confidence.
Being an optimist, especially if your job involves any kind of salesmanship, pays huge dividends. LifeNuts are optimists – this style helps them deal with the detours in life. Can a pessimist change to an optimist? Absolutely! Is it easy? Not always. If you’ve lost your job and you’re three months behind in home mortgage payments, it’s hard to be optimistic. But LifeNuts like challenges and routinely turn lemons into lemonade.
Drs. Salvatore Maddi and Suzanne Kobasa, psychologists at the University of Chicago, studied 259 executives and managers at Illinois Bell and published their results in The Hardy Executive. Maddi and Kobasa identified three characteristics of those executives who remained healthy during these stressful changes: challenge, control, and commitment. They labeled this “hardiness,” a personality component that helped executives to excel in times of chaos.
LifeNuts thrive; they’re alive; and they mentally and psychologically handle the stressors in life very well. They’re hardy.