Last week Army corporal Kimberly Walker, an eleven-time decorated war veteran, was buried in Cincinnati with full military honors. Only 28 years old, this young woman had a blossoming career ahead of her. But her boyfriend, also an Army soldier, quarreled with her on Valentine’s Day ironically, and, losing his temper, apparently strangled her to death. He awaits trial.
What saddened me about this was that this beautiful young woman had given so much to her country and her boyfriend, also in the Army, was headed in the right direction, too. Why, why, why? Answer: anger. Uncontrolled and dangerous.
How many times a day does TV news report an incident involving anger: either a fight, a shooting, or some other display of violence? We can’t blame guns on Kimberly’s death: she was strangled. Apparently anger was the culprit.
Yes, we all can succumb to anger if things don’t go our way or if we feel that changes in our lives are excessive and not fair. Change is stress and change continually happens. If we view this change as a challenge – rather than as something negative, we can often rise above it and even thrive on it. But, if we allow this change to get the best of us, we can suffer a host of problems: saying or doing things we don’t mean to say or do, hurting people – either physically or emotionally, or becoming sick with a disease.
According to government statistics, stress is the single biggest cause of sickness in the UK, affecting one in five of the working population and racking up 105 million sick days each year, a huge national income loss. The USA stats are comparable. Years ago the famous Mayo Clinic estimated that 85% of its admissions had stress-related diseases.
So, the next time you feel stressed and are about to become angry, try a quick three-minute stress buster: meditation. It’s free, it’s easy, and it doesn’t take much time – although most experts recommend devoting 15-20 minutes to a session. In our busy society, that much down time can be a real turn-off for most. But most folks can squeeze three minutes into their day.
The trick is to be preventive. Each morning, get up a few minutes earlier than normal and meditate. Same thing at night: before bed, spend three minutes in meditation. Look at your watch before you begin or set a timer. Do this for a week, twice a day, and see if you become calmer in highly charged situations.
There are many kinds of meditation but the two most common are Zen and traditional Indian meditation. First, sit upright in a comfortable chair, chin and head up. Feet crossed in the lotus position or straight down on the floor, whichever feels more natural to you. Take some deep breaths and close your eyes so that a blank, black screen appears. In Zen, keep this screen blank. In traditional meditation, imagine a word on the screen such as “calm,” “love,” “peace,” or some word that feels good to you. Repeat this mantra over and over again. Some people find Zen easier and others feel that the traditional mantra works better for them. Doesn’t matter which one you choose. Meditation does not have to be complex. It’s simple and effective.
During meditation, it’s normal for thoughts to randomly enter your mind. That’s OK. Just let them go and don’t worry if they keep coming. Try to get back to that blank screen or to your mantra. Hang in there for three minutes and try it again the next day. After a week, you should notice a difference in your life – perhaps becoming more focused or more effective in relationships or at work. Maybe you’ll feel as if you have more internal energy, more compassion, more peace. Maybe obnoxious behavior of others won’t bother you as much as it used to. Maybe you’ll let insults roll off like water off a duck’s back.
Dr. Herbert Benson, Harvard professor and cardiologist, published The Relaxation Response, a book that chronicled his work with his hypertensive patients. He taught them traditional meditation. After becoming skilled in this natural relaxation exercise, many of his patients were able to reduce the dosage of their high blood pressure medicine. Some simply eliminated it as their blood pressure returned to normal levels.
So, remember that we can’t stop change; we must accept it and embrace it. We can't insulate from stress. Stress is a fact of life. And being able to meditate sure beats having to take pills and deal with their side effects. Try it: it’s something that many LifeNuts use each day.
What saddened me about this was that this beautiful young woman had given so much to her country and her boyfriend, also in the Army, was headed in the right direction, too. Why, why, why? Answer: anger. Uncontrolled and dangerous.
How many times a day does TV news report an incident involving anger: either a fight, a shooting, or some other display of violence? We can’t blame guns on Kimberly’s death: she was strangled. Apparently anger was the culprit.
Yes, we all can succumb to anger if things don’t go our way or if we feel that changes in our lives are excessive and not fair. Change is stress and change continually happens. If we view this change as a challenge – rather than as something negative, we can often rise above it and even thrive on it. But, if we allow this change to get the best of us, we can suffer a host of problems: saying or doing things we don’t mean to say or do, hurting people – either physically or emotionally, or becoming sick with a disease.
According to government statistics, stress is the single biggest cause of sickness in the UK, affecting one in five of the working population and racking up 105 million sick days each year, a huge national income loss. The USA stats are comparable. Years ago the famous Mayo Clinic estimated that 85% of its admissions had stress-related diseases.
So, the next time you feel stressed and are about to become angry, try a quick three-minute stress buster: meditation. It’s free, it’s easy, and it doesn’t take much time – although most experts recommend devoting 15-20 minutes to a session. In our busy society, that much down time can be a real turn-off for most. But most folks can squeeze three minutes into their day.
The trick is to be preventive. Each morning, get up a few minutes earlier than normal and meditate. Same thing at night: before bed, spend three minutes in meditation. Look at your watch before you begin or set a timer. Do this for a week, twice a day, and see if you become calmer in highly charged situations.
There are many kinds of meditation but the two most common are Zen and traditional Indian meditation. First, sit upright in a comfortable chair, chin and head up. Feet crossed in the lotus position or straight down on the floor, whichever feels more natural to you. Take some deep breaths and close your eyes so that a blank, black screen appears. In Zen, keep this screen blank. In traditional meditation, imagine a word on the screen such as “calm,” “love,” “peace,” or some word that feels good to you. Repeat this mantra over and over again. Some people find Zen easier and others feel that the traditional mantra works better for them. Doesn’t matter which one you choose. Meditation does not have to be complex. It’s simple and effective.
During meditation, it’s normal for thoughts to randomly enter your mind. That’s OK. Just let them go and don’t worry if they keep coming. Try to get back to that blank screen or to your mantra. Hang in there for three minutes and try it again the next day. After a week, you should notice a difference in your life – perhaps becoming more focused or more effective in relationships or at work. Maybe you’ll feel as if you have more internal energy, more compassion, more peace. Maybe obnoxious behavior of others won’t bother you as much as it used to. Maybe you’ll let insults roll off like water off a duck’s back.
Dr. Herbert Benson, Harvard professor and cardiologist, published The Relaxation Response, a book that chronicled his work with his hypertensive patients. He taught them traditional meditation. After becoming skilled in this natural relaxation exercise, many of his patients were able to reduce the dosage of their high blood pressure medicine. Some simply eliminated it as their blood pressure returned to normal levels.
So, remember that we can’t stop change; we must accept it and embrace it. We can't insulate from stress. Stress is a fact of life. And being able to meditate sure beats having to take pills and deal with their side effects. Try it: it’s something that many LifeNuts use each day.
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