Oil painting has become my ikigai and takes up most of my spare time, which means that my LifeNut blogs suffer. But something happened today that made me return.
 
Because my wife Laura continues to have problems walking, we decided to take advantage of a seminar offered by a local chiropractor who also provided a lunch after his pitch. At the Golden Corral. What a glimpse into a microcosm of American health.
 
If you don’t already know, Golden Corral is a restaurant chain that features an inclusive buffet – all you can stuff into your tummy. About 20 years ago I ate at one when two of my sons and I went on a golf trip. I was heavier then and loved all their tasty food. And my stomach was big enough to fit a lot of it in.
 
Fast forward 20 years to today. Each of the offerings has a label of the number of calories, though there’s no mention of fat or saturated fat content. Hey, that’s a positive. And, there were  lots of vegetable selections and fruit. But I admit that I had trouble passing up the chocolate cookie. Just one. Anyway, that’s not the main point.
 
We arrived about ten minutes before show time and couldn’t believe that the room was packed. Luckily, a lady moved to give us her seat on the aisle that Laura and her walker could handle. Nice of her. After us, two more arrived and had to sit in the aisle. I think even the chiropractor was surprised. We’ve been to some of the “free dinner” financial presentations, which are never this full. Why, I asked myself.
 
As I looked around the room, I noted that, with the exception of an older Asian couple, everyone was obese, some morbidly so. A lady sat in the front row next to her 20-something son. They barely fit into the chairs they sat on. Most of the folks were middle-aged. Some older. Whatever the mass mailing brought in.
 
I saw America today. Funny, 20 years ago, when I ate at the Golden Corral, I didn’t notice the obese. Of course, my BMI then was probably close to 30. So why would I notice? And what drew them here today? Was it the topic of neuropathy, disease of nerves? The free lunch? Or an answer to their medical afflictions? I’m guessing, judging from their bellies, the Golden Corral helped, but I think that they were more interested in a remedy to their problems, which, of course, are mostly related to their obesity and their lifestyle.
 
As the chiropractor explained mainline medicine’s approach to neuropathy – drugs and surgery – there were oohs and aahs at certain times, indicating that the folks could identify with what he was saying. He asked how many were taking medications. Everyone raised their hand but me. How many were taking five. Many hands. Ten? One hand. He asked if anyone felt the best he or she ever felt in his or her life. My hand was the only one to go up.
 
He explained that he sees a lot of people with Type II diabetes (obesity-caused) and other diseases. He told us that he also offered a weight control program. That didn’t seem to spark any interest. He also offered a light therapy and a TENS unit, both of which have been shown to increase circulation, which helps to heal damaged tissue, such as nerves.
 
And he asked for sign-ups. For a regular exam charge of $249, there was a special seminar price of $89, but, if one signed up for an appointment (and paid for it) today, the price was lowered to $29. Many signed up.
 
Later, while Laura and I ate lunch, the chiropractor came by, introduced himself, and asked if we had any questions. After Laura explained her condition, I told him about the LifeNuts program and mentioned – ever so quietly – the obesity factor, shared by almost everyone in the room. He smiled, knowing the implication. However, rather than preach about prevention, which is noticeably missing in modern medicine, he focused on treatment. Perhaps during his treatments, he suggests diet and exercise. Hopefully.
 
The experience made me think about how the AMA has allowed obesity to run wild, dramatically increasing the need for medical services – physicians, drugs, treatment – while keeping the numbers of medical graduates low enough to avoid an oversupply. Cagy.
 
I guess I’d be in that obese crowd if I hadn’t decided to get healthy and change my lifestyle. Recently, someone told me that nearly all of winners of the Biggest Loser TV series had regained the weight they lost. Diets don’t work. Lifestyles work. So, why not join the LifeNut crowd, ditch the meds, buy some new clothes, and feel good about yourself? It’s a big step, but it’s worth it.

A recent article in the Washington Post discussed loneliness. Research has found that it can be lethal, but that’s not news, though it makes for interesting reading. “No man is an island,” a theme that’s been around for awhile, infers that we all need each other. Businesses need customers to survive. Cities need people to keep them vibrant (some are failing, some are thriving) and, don’t forget, a government needs tax payers. Oh yes, we all know that.
 
Scientists have identified links between loneliness and illnesses – heart disease, cancer, Alzheimer’s disease and other maladies, which lead to a shorter lifespan. The researchers have found that lonely people develop cellular changes which lowers their immune protection, allowing disease to flourish. However, each individual differs in personality so that loneliness varies, too: an introvert may be perfectly happy living alone and an extreme extrovert may feel neglected at a teeming football party. It’s all about expectations and one’s view of reality.
 
One New York City therapist commented that each week he sees patients who feel depressed over Facebook postings: everybody has friends but me. The article concluded that loneliness has become a public health issue, especially for those over 60.
 
Why over 60? Well, look at our divorce rate, now at 54.8% and approaching Sweden, the world’s leader in that statistic (54.9%). So, yes, there are a lot of single, divorced people in America and a many are over 60. Companionship, additionally, seems more important than ever later in life. As our relatives and friends die (the USA has a much higher death rate than other countries), our network of companions diminishes. So why not get married? Or live together, known scientifically as cohabitation?
 
That thought drove me to look up Professor Scott Stanley who has researched marriage, divorce, and cohabitation for over 40 years. I used his research in developing the relationship aspects of LifeNuts. https://portfolio.du.edu/sstanley
 
In looking at thousands of relationships, he found that cohabitation, living together before marriage, led to unpleasant topics: an increased divorce rate, shorter life expectancy, and, what’s amazing, less happiness during marriage for those who cohabit than for those who didn’t cohabit before marriage. There are many reasons for this, which are available in Dr. Stanley’s research, which has been validated by other university professors.
 
In one of his blogs, he referred to an article in the New York Times, which began with a story about a therapist’s client who spent a fortune on a lavish wine-country wedding. The two had spent four years living together before their wedding. A year later the wife was in therapy, terribly unhappy and wanting a divorce. She was 32.
 
The author mentioned that in 1960 there were 450,000 Americans who lived together; now there are more than 7.5 million. Why so many? There are two main reasons: one, it seems logical to check out your partner before committing to marriage and two, if everybody’s doing it, it must be OK (the lemming effect). Also, Hollywood stars, idolized by many, frequently have children out of wedlock proudly (Webster still defines such children as bastards), cohabit, and divorce frequently, glamorizing this lifestyle. Movies, stories and reports in the news media, and advertising have a subtle way of changing our culture, sometimes for the good, but often for the worse.
 
The NYT article delved into cohabitation and the dilemma of the wife-client but it failed to look at the major issue: commitment, although the article mentioned that word once or twice. And it ignored world-wide trends on marriage, happiness in marriage, and divorce.
 
So, to conclude, if the USA and Sweden (where some of the most beautiful people in the world live) are nearly tied at 55%, which country has the lowest divorce rate? India. One.one percent. That’s right – 1.1 %, one out of a hundred, versus 55 out of 100 for our county. How can that be? Don’t parents arrange marriages there? Yes. You don’t understand? Neither did I … until I asked a running friend, from India, about it. He told me that he and his wife met in the US but returned to India to ask their parents for approval. They’ve been married for nearly 30 years now. I’ve known other Indian young adults who return to India to get married. Their parents in India select a mate, the two meet and get to know each other for a few weeks, then get married. That’s it. Divorce rate: one percent. Go figure.
 
I asked my friend if Indians have sex before marriage. No, they don’t, he said. What interested me more were his comments on the western concept of “love,” which he said was extremely embellished. Hollywood stuff, again. He explained the difference between commitment and love,  difference which seems to be a factor in why Indian marriages survive and American marriages don’t. Perhaps it also reflects happiness in marriage, which studies show is higher in those who don’t live together before they get married.
 
So, the question remains: to stay single and be lonely or to get married and risk divorce? LifeNuts aren’t lonely, and, although their longevity depends on many factors – diet, exercise, finances, they know that maintaining good interpersonal relationships is important. The website and the book explain this crucial component of a long, healthy, and happy life in detail. Don’t be a statistic: be a LifeNut.

Welcome to 2016, another year in our lives – one with new opportunities for change. While traveling in our historic Southwest, I read a column in a local newspaper, one written by a Mexican-American. He was lamenting the health issues that citizens of Mexico – not New Mexico – were facing. He explained that, decades ago, Mexicans had low rates of heart disease and diabetes. But times have changed.
 
Today’s Mexicans, according to the writer, suffer high rates of heart disease and diabetes, due to the “Americanization” of the Mexican diet. How about exercise? Many Mexicans, in the good old days, had to walk everywhere. No cars. They walked, sometimes miles, to work, to shop, to visit friends. They worked their fields, they fished, they moved. And they ate a lot of beans and vegetables. Meat cost more than veggies. So, yes, their lifestyle has changed and their life expectancy reflects this change, ranking number 55 in the world, about 20 places behind the USA. Yes, that’s right, our country, one that spends more per capita on health care than any other, ranks 34th in longevity. Ironically, Spain, the mother county of Mexico, has a life expectancy of 83, placing it in second place, behind only Japan. Why do Spaniards live four years longer than Americans and six years longer than Mexicans? Maybe “Americanization” hasn’t hit Spain. Yet.
 
Another piece of news that intrigued me was the Forbes listing of the richest man or woman in each state. Wanting to see who was number one in Ohio, I scrolled through the first half of states, briefly looking at those who had achieved high levels of financial success. Does it make sense that a wealthy person would have access to the best information on staying healthy? Yes. But, alas, nearly all of these rich people were obese. Can money buy good health? Yes and no. Well, these folks can afford medications and medical treatment, but they can’t avoid the diseases that accompany obesity: sooner or later they come, like villains in the night.
 
So, with the New Year, why not take charge of your health? Don’t be a statistic. We have enough of those. Be a LifeNut!